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Old 09-03-2013, 10:35 PM
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Default Huge cottonmouth

Don't know the truth behind this story but its a good one!

A Dumas Man Quarrels With Giant Snake.

Local authorities said Saturday, that a Dumas man, Kenny Power, fought for his life against what some are calling, the biggest damn snake they've ever seen.

Sources said Kenny was changing water in a bean field when the gargantuan snake jumped up and tried to bite him on the hand, barely missing the tips of his fingers, and initiating a struggle that would end with the snake dead and high fives all around for a local hero.

Kenny said, "I knew he was big when he missed my hand! I mean I'm pretty quick...instinct just kicked in! I went to my truck to get a shovel and when I got back, he was waiting for me! What kind of snake does that? I tell you what kind....a killer snake!!!"

We agree, this wasn't any ordinary cottonmouth moccasin. When Kenny confronted the snake again, brandishing the shovel, it attacked. Kenny recounted stumbling backwards and falling in a nearby ditch.

Kenny said, "I thought he had me man! I was thinking about everything you know...my life flashed right before my eyes! I was hoping for a second that it would just be over quick, I made my peace and everything."

What had started out as something simple, quickly spiralled out of control. Kenny had given up.

Kenny said, "the snake knew he had me and I got still, you know, hoping he might lose me cause they don't have good eyesight like people! Our eyes just locked though when he got close to my boots and I was like, this joker can see just fine! That's when I remembered my Bruce Lee! Man I'm telling you I watched all those movies when I was a kid! When he struck at my leg, hey, I didn't hesitate, Enter The Dragon baby! Round house kick over the top put me back in the game! Hell yeah!"

Thanks to Bruce Lee, and a fighters instinct, Kenny had turned the tide of the struggle in his favour. There's no way the snake could have seen that coming! But it wasn't over yet.

Kenny said, "I got up out of the ditch and found my shovel. As I was crouched there on one knee, trying to keep my breathing down so my heart didn't explode, the snake just comes back to life! It jumped at me I'm telling you! I swung that shovel at him in mid air. Wham! right in the head...I heard it pop I hit him so hard. I was so happy man, I went to high five somebody but nobody was there! It felt good anyway!"

Kenny got the high fives he was looking for from the men at the shop when he showed up with the beast.

Fred Evans said, "Kenny is always talking about these big snakes he sees on the Internet. He says he sees em in the field but he never kills em. I just thought Kenny liked to tell stories, you know. He got a big one today though! Dang!"

Unofficial measurements for the leviathan were 6 feet in length and over 14 inches around in the middle. A weight was not able to be obtained because it broke the scales when they tried to hang it up. Forensic experts also reported they found several cat collars in the beasts belly after an autopsy!

One thing is for sure, the resident cat owners and their neighbours in Pea Ridge are breathing a little easier tonight and have lifted up a hometown hero to rock star status in the aftermath of what local historians are sure to call the biggest battle around there since the three day skirmish for Arkansas Post during the Civil War.
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Last edited by Shane; 09-03-2013 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:24 AM
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Default Re: Huge cottonmouth

That's a big ole creepy crawler...I'd a pooped my pant's walkn up on simething like that.
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Old 09-04-2013, 06:01 AM
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When all else fails revert back to kung fu theater.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:53 AM
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Man, talk about tearing up some rice with my tennis shoes.
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Old 09-04-2013, 10:44 AM
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Too bad he killed it. Now the damn cat population is gonna explode.


By the way, how many of you cat people put collars on your cats?
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:01 AM
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That snake must have covered a whole heckuva lotta ground if'n he was killed in the Dumas area and it has the cat owners all the way up in Pea Ridge breathing a sigh of relief! That's clear up on the Missouri border for petes sake!

Oh well I guess snake stories have every right to get as good as fish stories I reckin!
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Old 09-04-2013, 02:57 PM
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That's a damn monster!

I don't collar my cat, I wouldn't want to choke up any giant monster snakes.
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Old 09-04-2013, 04:32 PM
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I'm calling bs...... Major long arming job....
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Old 09-04-2013, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha View Post
I'm calling bs...... Major long arming job....
Of course it is....just read that ultra melodramatic story, you woulda thought he was wrestling an anaconda in the darkest depths of the jungle!
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:44 PM
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Default Huge cottonmouth

Lol, if he's 14" around the middle I got 32" biceps!
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:10 PM
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Lol, if he's 14" around the middle I got 32" biceps!
Or that's a huge shovel!!! lol
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:36 PM
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It made for a good read!
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Old 09-07-2013, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alpha View Post
I'm calling bs...... Major long arming job....
Nope..He is long shoveling it.
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Old 09-08-2013, 04:55 PM
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Nope..He is long shoveling it.
By pointing out one fact, I can prove that the whole damn picture is photo shopped.





THERE AIN'T NO BLACK MAN GONNA GET THAT CLOSE TO A DAMN SNAKE. (Not on purpose anyhow.)
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Old 09-08-2013, 08:58 PM
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Thats a really good point. I never even thought about that.
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